Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
