Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
