im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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