we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
