I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
