Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize