You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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