i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
