Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize