she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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