Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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