He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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