I wish my penis had an off switch
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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