worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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