Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
