is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
