he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
