never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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