I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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