I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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