Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
