To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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