i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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