Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
we made out on top of his cat.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
