So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
