he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
