That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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