Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
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