eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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