Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
