Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We are two peas in an std pod
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
