I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
