You work out of a Hotel?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
