Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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