What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
