VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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