I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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