He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
