Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
