so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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