Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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