she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
