this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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