I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
