$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
