i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
