I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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