I CAN MOONWALK!
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
