Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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