How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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