I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
