Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
