So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
