you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
