Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
