I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
