I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
