i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
