So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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