I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
