Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
