direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
