you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize