we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
